The boy.

As time goes by without talking to him I get a little better and a little worse. I wonder if he is even thinking of me at all or if he ever thinks about contacting me, but I guess if he wanted to contact me he would have by now, right? As much as I don't want to love him anymore I can't seem to get over him. As much as I want to hate him I can't because he meant and still means so much to me. As much as I want to let him go, I can't seem to let him go completely. My heart aches every day because I wonder about his life and what is happening in it. I look at his page trying to get a glimpse of what is happening and all i see is girls posting on his wall that he replies back to, when he never did that for me, and the pictures of how he currently looks, clean shaved and cut hair, another thing I longed for him to do. I miss him so much and I miss our friendship that we had gained but it scares me that if I contact him and just work on the friendship then I will only hurt myself more right now. I don't know what is better for me still to not talk to him or to have him in my life in some aspect. I don't know what he is thinking but that he asks other's how I am doing or if I hate him. Why can't he just come to me? That's all I am longing for.